Correspondents

Timothy “Snapper” McClutcheon – Photography Correspondent

Born and raised in Scotland, Timothy has always been a photography enthusiast. From his humble beginnings taking shots of insects and other parts of nature, to his somewhat dubious involvement with certain changing rooms and the people changing inside them, he has honed his skills to near-perfection.

An avid wearer of kilts, many are surprised at the size of the telephoto lens that he can smuggle undetected within the tartan folds of cloth surrounding his waist.

When asked why his nickname was “Snapper”, Timothy responded, “‘Cause I take snapshots, ya big twit!”. In an eerie coincidence, he also has a great affinity for seafood.

Daniel “Bare-it-all” Lassiter – Antarctic Correspondent

Daniel is our resident nudist here at TNC, so we sent him to the place best suited to his needs – Antarctica. According to sources close to Lassiter, he still finds time to release the inner nudist inside him (that is, walk around nude for a while, rather than letting some freaky half-a-foot-high-human crawl out of his midsection like that scene in Alien that you shouldn’t watch while eating anything, especially dishes such as spaghetti bolognese or tuna mornay).

He rarely submits stories to our newsdesk – well, at least it appears that way to us. We only send a plane every few months to pick up new stories, so he could be submitting alot more than we realised.