German Airline Gives New Meaning to “Budget” Travel

Our European correspondent sends us this story:

 

Up, up and away!

A German airline is now providing a trial flight for nudists. The 55 passengers will have to leave all their clothes on before they board, and dress again before they disembark. Also, the crew will remain clothed for safety reasons which are as yet unclear.

In an exclusive for The News Conduit, we contacted managing director Enrico Hess for a follow-up interview, in which he discussed some safety concerns that many held about the flight. “A lot of people have asked what happens if there is an incident in the air, such as the engines failing over the ocean. They don’t know whether they should put their lifejackets on, and whether lifejackets will even be supplied on the nudist flight.”

A valid concern, but this reporter can’t help but be intrigued by the possibility of not having to worry about spilling food and beverages on your clothes during turbulence.

[via Reuters]

 

Who Wants a Slice of Antarctic Pie?

Our Antarctic correspondent brings us this report:

Antarctic Topping

It’s cold here. It’s cold, wet, and my testicles have shrunk to the size of a sesame seed – but enough about the trials and tribulations of a reporter in Antarctica. Let’s talk about pizza.

Antarctica is just one huge slice of pizza that is about to come out of the roller-oven, and countries across the world are lining up with their pizza-cutters, ready to cut one delicious slice after another in a bid to control as much of the frozen circle down south as possible. The topping has already been digested, however, with Argentina, Australia, Britain, Chile, France, New Zealand and Norway taking “dibs on it” before Antarctica was set aside for peaceful purposes under a 1959 treaty. All that’s left is a last minute rush for the crust of Antarctica – the gooey, cheese-filled seabed possibly containing an abundance of resources, such as oil and gas. Strange ingredients for a pizza, and strange times ahead for the international community.

Head of the Antarctic Treaty Secretariat Johannes Huber claims: “Under the Antarctic Treaty you cannot increase your claim [and] you cannot make new claims”. This poses a problem for Australia and New Zealand, who are already licking the lips at the prospect of getting their very large mouths around a slice of Antarctic Pie. Indeed, they’ve already made slight indentations on the surface of the pizza with their cutters, both putting forward some low-key bids.

Antarctica

If countries aren’t aggressive in their claims, they may appear to be uninterested, and yet if they’re too aggressive, it could be seen as a violation of the Antarctic Treaty.

In an exclusive for The News Conduit, we contacted Head Pizza Maker in an exclusive pizzeria in Rome that cannot be named, and asked them about the situation. “Well, it’s the classic stalemate situation. If you seem too eager for the slice of pizza, you’ll alert others to this fact and increase your competition. Alternatively, if you play it cool and don’t seem too interested, you may lose the slice of pizza altogether.”

It is indeed, food for thought.

[via Reuters]

Smash the Bottle of Champagne!

A giant welcome from the TNC team! We’re still working out a few issues, so our photography correspondentn has kindly agreed to get the ball rolling. Here we have a photo:

“A man looks through the window of a vehicle after heavy snowfall in Sonada village, about 55km (34 miles) north of the northeastern Indian city of Siliguri.” (Courtesy of Reuters)

In an exclusive for The News Conduit, we came out from behind the camera to interview the man just photographed, but received no response to our inquiries. Our correspondent had this to say about the matter: “I’m pretty sure he’s a mime that’s never seen an actual window before, and doesn’t know what to do.”